S said movies affect her and that it immediately makes her want to call up S and tell him she loves him after watching a love story. and although i didn't admit it, it does have that kind of impact on me too. movies always have had. but yesterday, i only thought about how scared i am about this whole thing called love and that i never want to even want to go there in this life. ever again. what a mess some of us become in this emotion, almost unrecognizable, even to the one we claim or who claims to love us.
a friend said last week, that he'd rather perish in an earthquake than perish in love. but the first is still more painful because when you do perish in an earthquake, it also breaks the heart of the one you love.
i keep going back to this picture of the woman i saw on NHK, who went out looking for her husband, who'd gone to look at his office building a day after the Friday 9 magnitude earthquake. when the woman arrived at the office location, she only found the office building reduced to rubble and the husband nowhere.
a friend said last week, that he'd rather perish in an earthquake than perish in love. but the first is still more painful because when you do perish in an earthquake, it also breaks the heart of the one you love.
i keep going back to this picture of the woman i saw on NHK, who went out looking for her husband, who'd gone to look at his office building a day after the Friday 9 magnitude earthquake. when the woman arrived at the office location, she only found the office building reduced to rubble and the husband nowhere.
Hmmm..true..
ReplyDeleteyet I feel its better to have loved n lost than to have never loved at all.
@ tongchen: I had a look at your blog. i wish i could read it!
ReplyDelete@ B: I hope find the courage some time to love again
When I read this, it reminded me of this quote I read by Orwell that goes
ReplyDelete"The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one is sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one's love upon other human individuals."
This is one of my favourite quotes and it almost reveals to me why I fall for love again and again in spite of knowing better.
By the way, I've been following your blog for a long time. Gives me goosebumps. Makes me envious too.
Dear J,
ReplyDeleteI love that quote. I hope to live up to it someday, even though I'm a coward for now. My fear with loves comes from this selfish person in me who is scared of being conquered and fears the inadequacy in herself. Regardless, I hope someday, to be able to offer my heart, even if it will only be broken.
Thank you :)
P
Dear P,
ReplyDeleteYou know sometimes I think it's with faulty eyes that we elevate love to a status that we can't reach ourselves. Love includes loving the selfishness in a person, love includes acknowledging inadequacy. Love means loving the imperfect. Most of us choose to make the object of our love incomplete, flawed, imperfect, inadequate souls. There are few who want to save it all up for visions of perfection like god. So why do we do that? The riskier option of loving someone who has every potential to fail in love?
I think loving is also trusting that your lover chooses you for your imperfections too. And that you can love them back the same way.
(So good hearing from you, by the way.)
J