digging this one up

after all these years of fading in and out,
you are still mine
after all these years,
we are still only a possibility

estrangement

you were barely a metre away and yet, no voice, no face turned in my direction

we are deadlocked, too

you, with your inability to deal with our past
me, with my failure to move on

because there's no other way

funny how i miss you
even when you're omnipresent
in your absence

of our suffering,
coming back to the same point over and over again

apocalypse

from where we stand, there's only destruction.
we peel each other down
layer by layer
baring the hurts
we have smeared each other's chest with

This is my new year

What are we, but longings?
You there, on the other side of the year
and me here in a new one,
trying to find my way
through the fracking in my heart
as you wrestled with yourself.

I wake up
dreaming
with my eyes open,
of a possible morning
when my lips are pressed against your eyes.
I imagine you shut them
and press closer,
put your arms around me,
like you never will let go.

But, you're not a part of the year
we just stepped into,
with our phones turned off to suggest each other out.

Goodbye, Puppy