I want a good bra

All I'm asking for is a good bra. A bra that doesn't give me backaches. One that doesn't dig marks into my shoulders. I want a bra that holds my breasts comfortably so that my underarm muscles don't have to strain. I want my bra to keep my breasts where they belong so that the muscles around my neck don't have to feel like they are being dragged down. I want a bra that is kind.

tearing

it would be easier
to come apart
altogether

this constant tearing
i cannot stand

i miss you

you are caught
in my breathing
like absence

veil

i crop my hair short in an attempt to look like a man. i want to learn to think like a man, so that letting go is all about not hurting.
i try to get a fringe, in imitation of someone who I think is loved. but my fringe is all wrong and crooked. my hair is wiry and thick. not silky and supple
i will never be who i am not
i am not a man
i am not the girl with the beautiful fringe
i will have to be content with who i am
i am the one you detest

start again

we've stepped into a new year again, with you and i apart.

some days i pray for these tears to turn to dust. for dust to cover me, so that i can't see you and you can no more find me.

some days, all i want is to touch your face again. sometimes, every moment is about wanting to see your face.