just a dream

i felt the land crumble beneath my feet. like quicksand.like sand fast melting into water, the ground under my feet gave way and i started to run. the run was uphill. grinding, muscles stiffening, the land fast dissolving, i ran uphill toward you

:(

“Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.” 
― John Grogan, Marley & Me: Love and Life with the World's Worst Dog

puppy

they have taken the puppy indoors.
yes, i complained.

insane, insane, insane

for three consecutive nights, i've heard the pup yelp. it whines, yelps, weeps, stops when it tires then starts again. this goes on all night, making me want to kick the face of whoever it is the pup belongs to. why adopt a pup if you're going to tie it up all night and leave it to free in 6 degrees? am assuming that's why s/he weeps all night.
i took a sleeping pill last night to deafen myself against his cries.
when i woke up this morning, he was still weeping. the sounds were more feeble. but he hadn't stopped.
i need to find the house. this is driving me insane. why are we so cruel toward animals? humans. that's not even a name we should use for ourselves. we're monsters. monsters.

if and when

where words are not scathing
and silence makes up for everything unsaid

where you do not judge the movement of my hands
and i hold no grudges against your roving mind

where you and I
are just what we become in each other

if there is that field Rumi created,
I'll surely meet you there.

Dear Coffee,

it is 

as if i'd forgotten

that after the initial sweetness

you're bitter,

murky,

vindictive

i drink
right down

to the bottom of the mug

where you nuzzle

in contempt-

concentrated,

leaden

and i'm charred all over again

Trippin'

Everywhere

there's stumbling over
what the night brought in.

i try so hard to keep my eyes open
-my brain shuts in
gives in to the heaviness
of the dust from the vial

they hold in
what tires to  break free from me

a'tripping over you

Dear stranger,

Transcend.

We are made up of letters.
We shall meet where your syllables find mine.

Love,
P

I lisp

Find You

perhaps here
you and i
will still be
where
we were

swinging in
during the
afternoon lull
over teas
brailleing
poetry into queer shapes

perhaps here
i never have to worry
about losing you

Silence

and yet

what did we leave behind for each other

but a stretch of silence

when the nights coiled and twirled and held our words together

they became conversations

when we touched each other through the trans-pacific waves

we consummated our love

when we lashed out at each other, the words fragmenting, bickering,
falling like swords and we clenched against wants

we fell

you

you set me adrift
you're the shore

CLICHE

the spaces
are closing in fast
and i hear, the world is speeding toward destruction

i wonder if you will see my lips lisp your name
when i abandon this wreck.

Poetry

there is no you

just because
it's absence
if there's too much longing
for

our bruises brush
weep
embrace
and heal

the hollow
in our throats
form into lumps
as the fingers
follow the spine
and press to the shoulderblades

Whole

flicks
collar-bone
knuckles
shoulders
dipping of eyelashes in a dimple
ankles
knees
the archway of a hip-bone
a finger
caught in a mesh

Plato's wholeness.

stand

I will.

just so you know

another dog dies

and am not a happy person today. there are always dying dogs, hungry dogs, lost dogs in this neighbourhood.

bruno died today. he had been coughing for days and with Kathmandu getting so gloomy, I knew it was coming. they shouldn't have left him in the "cage" in this cold. but we humans do that all the time. cage them, hit them, kick them, tie them up, make them starve, run them over with cars and throw things at him. sometimes, acid.

home is becoming a playground of sorts for stay dogs now.of course, baa thinks am mad to leave food out for them on the front porch. that i should laugh when they jump in air at the sight of food. but am crazy about them and it can't be any other way. kanchu is slightly jealous, but am sure she knows she tops my list of all the dogs in the world!

Quiet

That stillness again-

of the time

we slipped into silence,

as mid-mornings

became

a battleground,

where we hoped

to contain

the rankle.

In this stillness,

you're still

my place to go to.

For you,

there will have to be verses
 again.

They are all I have
to concretize
your absence.

at home

my afternoons with mamu are fraught with sounds. buckets, bangles, utensils, punctuated by her cough. i seek so much in these afternoons. much of it is just escape- like it even exists. 

delude

I wake up to images of fresh green tea
while i sip darkdarkcoffee
to keep me awake at 6 am
and chase the ghosts from the night away

i can never fall asleep before morning

SWIG

i take a swirl out of the coffee mug.

i can barely keep my eyes open

Re-cap

to think of
who we became
when we touched
across the ether
in just words
that we built
our hearts on

a walk
a drizzle

there were half-emptied cups
there were unfinished conversations

there was you
who needed sovereignty
and me, who
needed some love

knowing i was loved

i miss
my sunday mornings
of waiting
for you
 to appear online

it's

heavy again
from drenching since last night