i will not complain about these mornings

that dampen my eyelids

with a swab of sleeplessness

borrowed from being a part of the world

where you are always in another realm

we are sin

we abstain

we thaw
in each other's eyes
as raindrops
form patterns
on windows
fogged-up by our breathing

ticking

what is this paralysis that gnaws at my nerves? is this what ms.Coutinho talked about when she said "nerves don't break down, people do"?
all day today, i haven't been able to step out of bed. there have been times i stayed in bed because it was what i needed to resuscitate myself. but now, am forcing myself in here because i feel like i can't do anything.
it's hard-- not having a place to go to. 

you ask me what an orgasm is

i say-
it's when i'm taking light steps up the hill,
going away with just your astonished face on my mind

and once am at the top, i suddenly drop
falling towards you, at the greatest speed 

How are you, dear Chiang Mai?

There isn't much to say about me, except that I recently lost an old relative who loved me and my mother very much. She fed my mom beaten rice and fish everyday when she was expecting me. And after I was born, Yaama (as I fondly called her) carried me around until my growing legs started slipping off her waist. 
Then I lost one of the dogs I loved. He died fighting his way back home after being attacked by all the dogs he met on the way back. 
There isn't much to say about me. Just that everyday, I fall a little more in love with my poet, whose suffering breaks my heart over and over again. 
I'll never be whole. Just like you. Because, I too always seek love where it eludes me the most.

Take care of yourself.

Love,
.