When Aki leaves

I can never quite explain what it is that Aki always tries so hard to tell me when she looks at my face. It's like she looks deep into my eyes- almost touching my soul. When I sent her off to Chitwan, I felt she was asking me why she was being sent away. She almost jumped off the car as they drove away. She did the same today, wanting to jump off the car, still clenching my tee with her fangs. She actually tore it and dashed my glasses to the floor, smashing it. Again the same look in her eyes. Can't believe she's grown into this girl who can knock me down, from the little one who used to sleep on my chest. But the same baby eyes! They will always make me the mother I can never become.