Longing

i long for you today, with a longing i've never felt before. i dreamed i ran past the steps of the airport and found you standing at the other end, your cheeks slightly dented with a dimple, your smile ready to break open. and i remembered your hands that had once comforted my back for two minutes, when i'd just got up after a long illness. this illness makes me desperate. it makes me want to jump out of my skin. it makes me wants to eat everything i cannot palate. it makes me want to get out of bed and explore the winter flowers in the garden outside my window. but more than anything else, i long for the silence in which you understood my last illness, in which you offered healing without knowing you were doing it for me.
i long for a walk homeward, with you telling me of your compassionate deity, who i believe cured me too.