am crumbling

i am crumbling.
it is all i understand of myself today. it is all i have understood since the evening i tasted the soil. my nape freed of the clasp, my hair let loose and i fall to the mercy of the ground beneath my feet.
fuck- i say, in memory of the worst only times i've spoken that word. my phone goes tumbling and my heart follows its motion, causing an erosion within me that refuses to let me gather myself for several minutes.
my insides tremble, even when i know there is nothing that is likely to have them heard on such a night. but i erode and i cannot anymore contain what inside me has crumbled.
i let my limbs loose, let the mudslide take me elsewhere.