Every time I say goodbye to Aki, it almost breaks my heart. She clutches me as if there would be a catastrophe, the moment she lets go. Her claws tangle into my jumpers, her head finds its shelter against my chest. And sometimes, she manages to get enmeshed into my muffler, scarf, the strap of my bag- whatever it is, that she can find on me. It's her way of asking me to stay. But how can I keep her?
I can't keep Aki, because she doesn't belong to me. She's Anuradha's. It's only the time warp that places her where I stand and I fall in love with her and she with me. We are the centre of each other's universe. Every day is a wait for the few hours, we communicate, play, vent. Even as I know this isn't forever, I let her come to me, love her with all of me and then we part again. Then there's another day, and another night of wait that follows.
I've had pets before. She's not the first. Odie was like my own baby. When Odie died, I was depressed for what seemed ages and I swore I would never get a dog. But my siblings and cousins had puppies and I learnt to love them all. I still do. But, but Aki is different. Something about the way she sleeps on my lap is so human. The way she tries to stand close to me, while I'm in the house is so different, the way she only gets playful wtih me and the way she sulks when I leave is so human and different. Dogs are more human than animals, anyway. They are less complicated.
When they love, they love selflessly. They don't judge. And when they love, they love forever and without expectations. Maybe that's that reason I want to adopt all the dogs I see on the streets. I want to feed them, keep them away from sun and rain and beatings and talk to them. Perhaps, in doing that, I also hope that people will be kinder to my Aki and give her one more moment of loving like I do, when I pat a stray dog, buy her/him a biscuit or just say hello.
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