Girlfriends

am thinking of how your eyes
dipped in the coffee-mug
bitter-sweet
in between our conversations
in the cafeteria
where you toyed with cake-crumbs
and how the fly
surrounded your hair
drawing a halo
before deciding to land
on the cake instead

-we were made up of angst
we still are

we drew circles within ourselves
of what we knew was negation

you clung to your Communist
with a clear crisp voice

i, desperately clawed at what
i thought might perhaps be love

we wondered at how it would be to love,
to make it

we touched the Kathmandu wind
that dissipated, even before

i remember, the pussy-willows and cat-tails
were in full-bloom, then

in Delhi,
we touched

through a mesh of what
tangles life had become

marriage, sex, drugs,
rejection, want, need

we drove though the streets
dragged ourselves up the narrow staircase
on to the landing
as it struck, that
things would keep moving despite us
and so would we

i look at your beautiful face this morning
and smile the taste of coffee in my mug
you always photograph
just as you are.