"Plath is not good for anyone."
But whenever I've read her, I found her swirling inside my head, making me understand exactly why I feel a certain few things, like I feel them. Some days are a bit like you were trapped inside the world, claustrophobic, wanting out, seeking a definition for yourself.
Returning home in the office drop today, I felt I had lived one life already. Put it behind me, even. And yet, this need to define what was, is and will be. That's what I was trying to do last night, spreading my hands in front of S's eyes, asking him to predict my future. Is it terrible? No. He said. But you won't live past 48. Oh, make it 28, I should have said. That could fix all these years. I would fix me right at 28, at the hilt of struggle. Martyr to some sort of emotion, I could still name.
For these days, I'm short of vocabulary.
But whenever I've read her, I found her swirling inside my head, making me understand exactly why I feel a certain few things, like I feel them. Some days are a bit like you were trapped inside the world, claustrophobic, wanting out, seeking a definition for yourself.
Returning home in the office drop today, I felt I had lived one life already. Put it behind me, even. And yet, this need to define what was, is and will be. That's what I was trying to do last night, spreading my hands in front of S's eyes, asking him to predict my future. Is it terrible? No. He said. But you won't live past 48. Oh, make it 28, I should have said. That could fix all these years. I would fix me right at 28, at the hilt of struggle. Martyr to some sort of emotion, I could still name.
For these days, I'm short of vocabulary.

I guess we all are short of vocabulary...
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