i heard

I heard you were seen hanging out with a very young woman in Basantapur. I wonder who.

I wonder how your face must have looked in the warmth of the evening sun as you walked alongside the young face, discussing philosophy and talking mysteries. I wonder if there’s gray on your face now, or other signs of aging. I wonder what takes you out of your cubicle where you sit, observing the world and battling it like a keyboard warrior. You once said one could destroy the world like that.

I wonder what it might be like if I had been there in your stead, walking alongside a younger man. Walking, talking about everything perhaps or just standing in silence. I wonder what they’d say about a woman like me with ‘loose morals’. A cougar. 

What could a woman like me say about morality? I wonder what a man like you would say about cloistered virtues. A man like you who believes in morality and nothing. Unlike a woman like me who believes in nothing and everything that is immoral.