for better days...writes K. and it is what i have been asking for everyday, of myself. to teach myself to wait for better days.
because even in this despair, there is something like hope. too often, i have hoped this is a long nightmare and i'll wake up to find that everything in the world around me is alright. that people never died in this country, houses never collapsed, never fell on unsuspecting lives, that landslides never swept away people sleeping in their huts, animals tied to sheds. it's a desperate thing, this hope.
and as i type these words, i find myself hoping there will be small tremors and not massive ones that kill people more than just physically. because since April 25th, i feel as though i have become a heap of crushed people. and all of these people are me. a crushed daughter, a crushed friend, sister, a crushed co-worker, lover-- whoever i might have been.
but i have also learned this about myself. i'm crushed the most, by love. because there can be love that changes your personality, your faith in things and everything you believed in, just because it filled you with hurt.
but even in love, the wise ones say one has to be patient.
life, teach me how to wait for better days, just as K
because even in this despair, there is something like hope. too often, i have hoped this is a long nightmare and i'll wake up to find that everything in the world around me is alright. that people never died in this country, houses never collapsed, never fell on unsuspecting lives, that landslides never swept away people sleeping in their huts, animals tied to sheds. it's a desperate thing, this hope.
and as i type these words, i find myself hoping there will be small tremors and not massive ones that kill people more than just physically. because since April 25th, i feel as though i have become a heap of crushed people. and all of these people are me. a crushed daughter, a crushed friend, sister, a crushed co-worker, lover-- whoever i might have been.
but i have also learned this about myself. i'm crushed the most, by love. because there can be love that changes your personality, your faith in things and everything you believed in, just because it filled you with hurt.
but even in love, the wise ones say one has to be patient.
life, teach me how to wait for better days, just as K
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