So

the truth is i cannot write anymore. not even blogposts. i stop here.

Nightmares

I used to know what they meant.
Now, they're just about waking up to the blankness of the night and wondering how those images crept into my head. I go to bed with a clearer head since the time it was monsoon. But with winter catching up, I wake up in a freeze to the pictures my head draws every night. 

bah!

i have only stupid dreams
and my mind's rubbish
to share

now
wait is a long strand of listless sky

when the train arrives
i will have
only my palms,
slashed with fate's doodles
to spread at your face

and wave a long time

stupid dreams

sometimes,
all you need it a hand to hold
and the knowing it will not abandon

words...

i abandoned,

they make me want to turn into a little baby tonight
and just disappear into the sheets

water

i do want to be like water. like you said i could.

i want to flow, move into crevices, fill in what is yearning.

i want to race down slopes, gather where there is time to hold.

i want to fall, like i didn't care where i'd land.

i want to grow into shapes-- be a thing without an identity.

i want to be water. i want to be like you.

when i think of you

i can only remember how beautiful the sky is