RIP Kali

Kali succumbed to liver failure, tumor and paralysis. 

Everywhere
dogs die.
Why should anyone care they have souls and bodies that feel pain? And sometimes puppies, who don't yet know how to walk.

P.S. Kali was called Black Sea by those who adopted her and abandoned her. The people that bought the house that was Kali's and threw her out have three thin, unhappy dogs now.

i should have taken a picture of Kali with her puppies. at least there, i could have kept them united.

Kali

I will never forget the way Kali looked at me, as the man from the KAT centre put her into the van. She looked at me to tell me she was helpless. For two days, she hasn't been able to get on her feet. She hasn't even been able to lift her head to eat. The centre says they might have to inject her- mercy killing they call it.
She has a huge tumor in her tummy. How did she raise five puppies in there with a tumor, I can only keep wondering about. How did she jump about trying to protect her babies? How did she fight all the male dogs in the locality with such a huge tumor in her stomach? Must lives end when they become filled with suffering?

Kali's family is scattered all over Kathmandu today. Kali at the centre, the black pup in Chobhar, the black one with a white stripe on the neck in Ganesh Basti, the black one with white patches somewhere in Hepali heights, then the eldest black and the little brown one, still in the pen, yelping under the hens.

Maybe Kali continues to yelp too in pain. She might never have a chance to say goodbye to her children. 

hole

this heart has no song for you
-- only anguish

Scribble

It isn't that I don't know this too will pass. But my heart refuses to understand it. It shuts out all logic and drowns deeper and deeper into that well from where there is no salvation.

I'm almost giving up.

mother

sometimes,
you will look-up at the sky
wanting to undo
the knots
you made in her heart

the poet says,
from the time you leave the womb,
you walk the world
calling out
her name

my air-time is yours

i blend in frames
nuances
silences
jerks
and there's a moment in my head
when you stood
in the evening-night once,
smiling